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i love water

and especially rain

9/21/06 04:20 pm - where'd you come from?

I'm SO whiney right now. ugh. I just want to cuddle with my girl and eat brownies, God bless it! I'm going running.
Current Music: INDIGO GIRLS- I Believe in Love

6/2/06 05:15 pm - i don't know anymore

the world is so weird.i got back from china this morning, and it wasn't my favorite place on earth, and i didn't love it. i hate chinese food. i feel jet-lagged and the last thing i want to do is run 3.1 miles right now, but i really have to because the 5k i'm running is in 2 days (sunday)and i haven't run in 9 days. some drama happened while on the trip and even more drama just happened today or something with some other kids i know- bad, sad news, but i'm definitely not going to elaborate.

my grandma isn't eating, not that she's been doing a lot of it anyway lately, but still. aka she'll probably die soon. who knows? i wrote to my ex today, a weird, random, stupid little note, i honestly don't know why. i have to pack for alabama, i leave the 13th of june, and then the morning after i get back from AL i leave for michigan. this means i have a week and a half to see all my friends and then i won't see them for like a month because its really difficult to transport people {especially ones who can't drive themselves} to/from where we live, but hopefully jen will visit, and brit might too. ali is going to the same city where our exchange student will be from next year- vladmir, russia. maggie graduates on thursday, i'll miss her. i also miss the fact that she and i have not been as close this year as we once were, due to a whole bunch of things, and we are both to blame, but life just sucks.

i am not writing this for anyone's sympathy, i just wanted to get it off my chest.
oh yeah, and i'm kind of seeing someone, all our friends say we're dating, but we're in denial, and i'm mad because i can't see her today.

blech.

"and as for the dissapointment i see in you, what can i do?" - catie curtis.

yeah, i still think about you a lot, and i still wonder what could have happened even though i know it never would have worked out because our lives are too different and you smoke and don't call me back and you're not responsible and you stood me up and...and...
Current Location: my house?
Current Music: catie curtis
Current Mood: determined to pull myself up

5/11/06 07:47 pm - stolen from maggie

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul
What Kind of Soul Are You?
Current Music: Kym Tuvim
Current Mood: blah

5/11/06 07:31 pm

You scored as Carmen Electra. You are most like Carmen Electra. You have undeniable beauty and sex appeal, and you don't mind showing it off. Sex is like a hobby to you, and you are especially attracted to bad boys. However, even though your're a major slut...you're sweet and kind at heart.

</td>

Nicole Kidman

72%

Carmen Electra

72%

Beyonce

67%

Eva Longoria

61%

Gwen Stefani

56%

Paris Hilton

44%

Angelina Jolie

39%

Kate Bosworth

28%

What Beautiful Celebrity are You? (pictures)
created with QuizFarm.com
Current Music: Kym Tuvim
Current Mood: blah

4/22/06 10:13 pm - Moment of Forgiveness

Well I guess that I was lonely,
that's why I called you on the phone.
'Cause in a moment of forgiveness,
I didn't want to be alone.

And I guess that I was willin,
more than I ever was before.
'Cause in a moment of forgiveness,
I come a knockin at your door.

Baby I woke up cryin last night
just to realize that you were gone.
Has it been two long years without you?
When are you gonna come home?

I guess that I was hoping
that you'd finally understand,
and in a moment of forgiveness,
you'd reach out and take my hand.

Now baby I know you're not one
for bearing witness.
You told me that one wrong move
is gonna sell you out.
I see that you kept your word
And made it harder than it had to be.
Wish I could save you the trouble baby,
give you a little peace of mind.

Baby I woke up cryin last night
just to realize that you were gone.
Has it been two long years without you?
When are you gonna come home?

I guess that I was hoping
that you'd finally understand,
and in a moment of forgiveness,
you'd reach out and take my hand.

The Indigo Girls
Current Music: Indigo Girls
Current Mood: nervous

3/20/06 04:40 pm



Find Out Your Fortune!
Name:
Age:
Sex:
Birthday: ,YYYY


so tired. so much to do. happy to have been able to run today...and yesterday. nervous about michigan tomorrow, excited about college visiting and seeing butch again next week. erm...i made some new friends :) other than that, life is mostly the same.

love
Current Music: Fix You
Current Mood: cold

3/10/06 08:45 am

You Are The Godfather Ice Cream

Someone crosses you, and they'll end up with a scoop of this in their bed
What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?



sweet.
although I have 2 favorites: oatmeal cookie chunk, and sweet cream and cookies.

a little update...

i'm sitting in english class. Last night I worked out for 2 hours! Now i'm pretty sore, but it was SO fun! I can't wait to go running with BB this weekend! I have 3 papers to write, and I need to study for the SAT also. Hopefully I'll be able to go to this free intro yoga class on sunday (astanga) with either ash or sean. tonight i think i'm gonna see a movie with suzie, which'll be fun b/c we haven't hung out for a while. [mara- when should we hang?] Really excited for spring break, can't wait for it to get here! going up to MI to see the fam, and then visiting 3 colleges. My dad wants to get an exchange student next year, it would probably be a cool experience...i don't know too much about it yet.

peace!
Current Music: People talking around me
Current Mood: happily content

1/26/06 10:34 pm - stolen from Elise (whos last name i don't remember)

THE "I" SURVEY

I Live: to help people
I Work: all the freaking time
I Talk: to as many people as i can
I Wish: that poverty and all problems which go along with it could end.
I Enjoy: deep/long conversations, writing, listening to music, and something i'm not letting myself do.
I Look: for ways to be compassionate and spread love.
I Find: awesome folk singers on the internet
I Smell: all flowers
I Listen: to FOLK music
I Hide: in the closet, in the shower, under the covers
I pray: to God.
I Walk: in the rain, on the treadmil, to get my thoughts out
I Write: every emotion.
I See: people hurting people, isn't love easier?
I Sing: when no one is home
I Laugh: when i have the ability to let myself do so.
I Can: be anything that i want- i just have to put my mind to it.
I Watch: concerts!
I dream: about occaisions
I Want: peace
I Cry: less than i used to, but more intensely when i do.
I Burn: candles
I Read: Anne Lamott and Alix Olson
I Love: my girls...
I Sometimes: squeeze maggie's hands.
I Touch: everything.
I Hurt: myself and _ _ _ _ _ _
I Fear: losing people who i love
I Hope: that i shall have a fullfilling and purposeful life
I Break: people's hearts?
I Eat: as healthfully as I can
I Quit: I don't quit.
I Bathe: almost daily
I Drink: tea, water, juice, soda, _ _ _ _ _ _ [sp?]
I Save: letters
I Hug: people
I Meditate: while laying in bed
I Play: on swing sets [sometimes with librarians]
I Miss: spending time with my grandma
I Hold: onto people, too tightly
I Forgive: as much as possible, but not everytime
I Drive: with my mother
I Have: more than i need
I Don't: partake in self-destructive behaviors
I Made: susan laugh [tonight on the phone]
I Kiss: when i feel passionate about someone
I Believe: God and yoga and breathing
I Wait: for certain people
I Need: support, physical connectedness, a lover
I Owe: Liz .25 cents
I Feel: exhausted
I Know: i am small, but that i can try to create change, even so
I Wonder: if heaven exists


with love
Current Music: Trouble in My Head Melissa Ferrick
Current Mood: exhausted

1/8/06 10:23 pm - tears stream down my face, and i realize only i can fix me.

ps.

she just called. she told me she loved me. we cried. she wants to get back together. i don't know what to do. she asked me out.i just want to die.
Current Music: melissa ferrick, who else?

12/20/05 09:59 pm

i feel like
i am going
to throw up
i almost
passed out
in the shower today
that was kind of crazy
and this whole quitting thing
ain't as easy as it seems in the movies
the desire is stronger than the actual deterrant
i guess
i'm just going
to go to bed
and hope ashley calls
because i love her
almost more than anything
and maggie was right when she
presumably asked if i was
attached
i am
very
attached and
in love


yours,
butterfly
Current Music: Drive ~ ~ ~ Melissa Ferrick
Current Mood: withdrawn

12/18/05 07:16 pm - nasty

i feel like i literally just threw up on this poor girl- verbally. jesus christ! so, there was this new girl at the neighborhood christmas party- sydney, and she seemed really nice and stuff, so we were talking- adn she was born on oct 2- (Ashley and my anniversery) so i said, dude! nice birthday, and came out to her. a few minutes later, julia came in and asked if i was dreading going to michigan (yes), then she said, zoe's grandma is really sick. SO, sydney knows anything and everything she could ever want to know about me. ugh!

nastyness

peace and love

merry christmas/happy hannakuh/happy kwanza/anything else
Current Music: 3am Chris Pureka
Current Mood: exhausted

12/10/05 09:37 pm - Bah humbug

I'm so restless. I can't sit still- let alone concentrate. I need to study for these blasted examms!!!!!

Good luck to everyone who is taking exams in the next few weeks.

Peace and Love.
Current Music: My own thoughts
Current Mood: MA says exams=necessary evils

12/4/05 09:46 pm

Your Birthdate: December 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.
You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.
Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.
You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.

Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone

Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge

Your power color: Cobalt blue

Your power symbol: Dove

Your power month: September
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?




i need you right now...
Current Music: "I Give Up" Melissa Ferrick
Current Mood: depressed

11/30/05 07:17 pm - Concert Plans

Waiting here is all i know
i keep holding on
i can't let go
gas station road
i drove you to
the train
and i watched you
go
you slow down time
when you're away
- c. pureka


--MELISSA FERRICK AND NATALIA ZUKERMAN CONCERT TONIGHT AT LITTLE BROTHERS--

I want this love to survive. Because we love each other. Although its been a week since we've seen each other, which is difficult.

I'm so lucky. I've always been lucky, from the day i was born, and now all I can do is ask, WHY??? I can't even go there right now. Its just too impossible to think about. Too big to imagine. Questions questions questions...I cannot comprehend the world in which we live. "I left the only home I knew, I stayed alive and I found you...we found the way we found the streets direction sweat under the sheets and i let you have it i let you have it..." - Mirah

For what/whom do you live? Yeah, I'm asking everyone. So answer.


peace.
Current Music: Chris Pureka
Current Mood: so fucking depressed

11/23/05 06:26 pm

ugh.

Saw Rent - loved it. Quick update before the family arrives. God damn it, I love Ashley. I don't even know what to do anymore. I almost cried when we said goodbye just now, but I kept it together. Wish me luck with my conservative-right-wing-evangelical cousins...


peace and love
Current Music: Chris Pureka

11/11/05 11:32 pm - now its tattooed girls with a past they can't remember

I've seen the sun on a funeral, the full moon in a midday sky
Tactician politician hold his head and wonder why
I'm always struck that much harder by the power of suggestion
By now I know the answer's always in the question

Now that we're done with that why don't you warm the car
All of the fields are filled with fresh boys playing football
More than the weather chills, the bands practicing their drills
I've got to get back to something real with you

I had to call your parents to get your number again
I was either gonna be the prodigal or the banished friend
We were standing against an outside wall, I was afraid of what you'd say
It took me ten years to call you back but here we are today

Now that we're done with that why don't you warm the car
All of the fields are filled with fresh boys playing football
More than the weather chills, the bands practicing their drills
I've got to get back to something real with you

So life has brought you this: two marriages and three kids
And me life as slick as ice that finally hit the skids
You're as sweet as you ever were
A slight sickness of regret washes over me
And in the end that's all I get

Now that we're done with that why don't you warm the car
All of the fields are filled with fresh boys playing football
More than the weather chills, the bands practicing their drills
I've got to get back to something real
I've got to get back to something real
I've got to get back to something real with you

-Something Real THE INDIGO GIRLS - BEST BAND EVER.

Geez- its been a long time since I've updated. I mean, new and incredibly beautiful things are indeed happening in my life, but I don't talk about them on the internet, they are too meaningful. Call me if you want to know details.

Seeing RHPS with MY MOTHER?!!!! kinda strange but whatev.

Peace out- yo.

zoe-bear*

Yeah, AbH- I am that _ _ _!! ;-)
Current Music: "Dairy Queen" - Indigo Girls
Current Mood: content

9/17/05 03:45 pm - quickie

wish i'd known about the festival leah mentioned!!! then J and i could've gone- J is so open about everything, its wonderful!

we went to northstar, which was great as always, sat with sherrie and mikayla and ...michael(?) and sebastian, not your sebastian, abh. they're pretty nice people. after they left, J and i also had a great heart to heart convo about a lotta stuff. then we went to see maren's apartment and move her car because she's in nyc for 5 days with Jay.

grandpa is here for the weekend... its okay i guess, he's quiet as usual. tonight we're going to handke's for dinner. yay.

gonna go do homework for a bit, then nap.

so tiiiiiirrrreed.
Current Music: indigo girls
Current Mood: calm

9/15/05 10:35 pm

Scooter boys and Argentineans Europe shed the blood of the Indian Here I sit in the land of plenty Crying about my own virginity Hey blue blood you're nothing new You see I come from privilege too A chapter in the book on the Americas You're just another colonial terrorist Scooter Boys and Argentineans Europe shed the blood of the Indian Here I sit in the land of plenty Crying about my own virginity Way down south where the Maya reign Zapata reading poetry in his grave They said we're stealing from the best to feed the poor Well they need it more

- Scooter boys - by the indigo girls


i love amy ray and emily sailers but i especially love amy ray in blue hair and a "suicide queen" shirt, its HAWT. (props to ali b h)


my question of the week is WHY?????????????????

answer however you wish.

love and peace
Current Music: "everything in its own time" indigo girls
Current Mood: thoughtful

9/14/05 09:25 pm

MELISSA FERRICK CONCERT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW ABOUT AND HOUR AND A HALF AWAY FROM ME. I AM SOOOOOOO SAD. I WISH I WAS THERE!

I LOVE YOUR MUSIC, MELISSA. KEEP WRITING AND PLAYING.

*SNIFFLE*

AT LEAST JEN AND ANNY AND NELLE WILL BE AROUND TO CONSOLE ME.
Current Music: "Burn this guitar" MF
Current Mood: extremely sad

9/10/05 08:04 pm

http://www.melissaferrick.com/images/upthumb/DSC_0018.jpg

check her out!!!!!!! :-)

melissa ferrick is AWESOME

had an awesome time with KlT today- muchas gracias senorita


leah is awesome. end of story.
we love mf so much.
leah- did you know she's coming to OH??? we should try to go=> only its on a thurs night





why do i become so obsessed with certain things/ideas/people?
--mng-- help answering? please?

kisses
Current Music: "Burn this Guitar" - Melissa Ferrick
Current Mood: crazy and insane
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